Do you consider yourself a lady’s man? Not in the unfunny Tim Meadows of SNL sort-of-way,
but in the Don’t Hate the Playa, Hate the Game sort-of-way? There’s nothing
wrong with being out there, dressed to the nines and collecting womanly
conquests like kids used to collect stamps back in the 1950s. All right, all
right we may take offence at you treating the objects of your desire abjectly,
but as long as no one gets hurt (their feelings aside, of course) what can we
say…We just want you to understand the ramifications of your lifestyle, young
man… we want you to know what is brewing inside some of those girls’ britches.
We also want you to know that STD testing is affordable, and so is oral herpes testing in particular. Oh, and that it’s never too late to grow the heck up.
Some of us get our kicks from riding roller
coasters, others from hitting that home run way over the back fence and slowly
jogging the bases as the crowd cheers. Others need to be in a club, or a bar,
or a neighborhood house party and saying and doing anything it takes to get a pretty girl to engage in sexual activity
with you. We understand that this behavior may say a lot more about you than
the girls with whom you chase, but we also
know, that just chastising you guys for it will get us—and you—nowhere. Keep in mind as that music is blaring that those girls
are probably not going to be doing anything with you later in the evening that
they haven’t done with a bunch of other guys a million times before. Oh, and
remember how affordable that oral herpes testing is. You just may need to take
that test one day…very soon.
Let’s take a look at the statistics regarding the
American male and female and the rate of herpes within your—I mean
their—circles, shall we? It may shock you to learn that while you are dancing
your butt off (with that butt in question peeking out of your sagging jeans)
that certified STD clinics are doing a brisk business because of this type of
behavior. For the record, doing “a brisk business” means GETTING PAID, SON!
Okay back to statistics of herpes within your age
group. The medical professionals generally have a pretty good idea what sort of
numbers we are talking about here—and they are sure to surprise you. While one
in five members of the entire American adolescent population will currently
test positive for genital herpes—it is one in four American teens that will test positive for oral herpes. That’s right, one in four.
Are you thinking about testing now? Do the math, Einstein. We’re sure you can
do this equation. For every four
pretty young things that you’ve bedded—and don’t forget, you don’t have to have had intercourse with them—ONE of them was infected with oral herpes!
Enough of this tone, but we think it’s important to
speak in language that the most at-risk demographic can understand. The
behavior that you and your peers are engaging in is bad for your health. You
need to get to a certified STD clinic in your neighborhood and begin testing
for things like herpes—both oral and
genital. It may seem like all fun and games right now, but how you are behaving
is just plain dangerous. Don’t believe us because we are older. After all, we’d
never expect you to. Just take a look at the numbers plain and simple. And
never forget that when we speak of herpes we are speaking about a virus, and a
virus will never go away. Once you
catch the oral herpes virus or the genital herpes virus there is no curing it, there is only treating the symptoms for the rest of
your long life.
If you’d finally like to get serious and begin
facing up to your responsibilities like an adult—like a real man—log onto
STDCenterNY.com for more info. This certified STD clinic is conveniently
located just blocks from Grand Central Station so you know how easy it is to
get to by subway. If you have a job, chances are they accept your insurance. If
you do not have a job they are very
affordable. Give them a call when you are ready. Hopefully that is right now.
Dial 1-212-696-5900 to speak to a caring and discreet staff member and to make
an appointment today. Stay safe and healthy. Lots of people care about you.